In Defense of Bad Parenting
Long before I had even the slightest desire to have my own children, I recall observing parents in public spaces and their "out-of-control" children. The observance of such things probably contributed to my suppressed interest in having monsters of my own.I thought "what careless and inconsiderate adults," "what a poor example of respect for others," "my children would never behave that way." I was under the impression that the behavior of children in public was simply a matter of a parent's will. You will smile at strangers, stay close by my side, don't touch anything on the shelves or on the ground. You will keep your voice down. (Funny, huh?)If you didn't know already, I fancy myself a relatively strict disciplinarian. I expect my children to listen to me when I make (very reasonable) requests. I generally don't tolerate tomfoolery when we are out and about, mostly because we are on a mission/a chore/out to get shit done. And I do still retain a feeling (increasingly a distant one) that my children's behavior reflects on the values of respect, courtesy, and discipline I live by and want them to as well.It turns out, it's not quite that simple.Some days, I just don't have the energy to contain their life force. It turns out obedience is not an instinct and naughty is not something learned. It's pretty much the other way around. I am a yeller (confession time). But, you know, some days I just can't anymore or it's not an appropriate space to tell my kids to stop running (the other half of the time they are not moving fast enough), stop being so loud (the other half of the time they whisper), stand by me, don't touch that, don't touch that, don't touch that either. It is a losing battle most days.Combine that with all of the other struggles people (all of us) face in a day and my two kids burning off a little extra energy in the grocery store is no longer of such great concern to me.And so, I have a much higher level of tolerance for kids gone wild these days. They are like some crazy energy particle that can sometimes be directed to do amazing things but most days are just bouncing around the universe looking for something to break. So don't do what I used to and judge parents too harshly. Have more kindness than condemnation, maybe even a word of encouragement or understanding. (Although don't be surprised if you get a scowl because misbehaving kids makes everyone miserable, especially the parents.)Empathy - |ˈempəTHē| noun. The ability to understand and share the feelings of another.